Today I was just thinking about how much I miss my family back in Kurdistan, and then I started to compare my culture with the European culture.
Here in Europe it’s all about status, money, materialism etc. so often if you’re invited to a ”white” persons house they’ll do everything to make the appearance look divine. They’ll use expensive china, napkins, wine glasses, wine and so on. And when you enter the room and see the setup you’re amazed, because it all looks so beautiful! But then because they try to make something delicacy or use expensive ingredients they don’t make enough of it, and their guests end up going home hungry - all the “high class” appearance fades. This is of course not always the case, but the european standard on this matter is so weird to me.
Because in my culture it’s not like that at all! Whenever I’m back home, they always make TONS of food, all kind of different kurdish dishes and salads - everything your heart (and stomach) desires. And there, it’s not like they invite 5 people and close the door to everyone else. I swear we might start out with being 5-7 people but end up being 15+. Because there they are soooo hospitable, family members, friends, neighbors stop by and join for a meal, and there is always enough food for everyone and because we’re always so many we never sit at the dinner table (they don’t even have one lol), we sit on the floor in the living room, side by side, with our loved ones and talk and laugh while we hear stories from my grandfathers childhood and on how the world has changed from when he was young.
That is life for me, that’s quality time with loved ones. That’s the feeling of belonging and damn how I miss my family.
Excuse me if I’m crossing the line of what’s ”political” correct to talk about.
I’m sorry if my anger is interrupting your peaceful & ignorant thoughts.
No. Please don’t tell me to calm down ma’am - I’m upset right now.
How dare you?
I’ve had enough of you people! At least I understand YOU. I know why you’re so apathetic, I’m really not blaming you ma’am. I’m just begging you to understand me too.
You tell me that I’m being rude and insensitive, because I live in a country where I can do whatever the hell I want. You tell me to appreciate it.
And I do, I swear. Even though I’m not blaming you for not understand my situation, I wish you’d at least try!
Yes! I’m blessed and I thank God everyday for the easy life I have.
But you cannot sit in front of me, and tell me that you couldn’t care less about the poor and helpless people in the Middle East – and that it’s ok for you to say this to ME.. Since I’m one of you guys now.
One of you? What do you mean ma’am? Human? ‘’white’’? educated?
I can’t believe I’m having this conversation with you! Did your heart grow smaller every time you had a wage increase? Did your parents feed your stones instead of love? Did they hit you instead of hugging you? Why are you belittling my people like this?
I wish I could make you feel the pain my parents felt when they fled from Kurdistan to Europe. My mother was 8 months pregnant with me and carried my two big brothers – one on each arm. They had to hide, the corrupt authorities hurt them, they starved and they lived in dirt on their way to ‘’paradise’’.
The rest of my family is living in Syria. Oh, ma’am, please don’t tell me you don’t know what’s going on in Syria right now? Damn, you are really hiding behind that wall of money, huh. How can you ask me to calm down, when you haven’t seen the poverty and the dying children on the streets? That’s my people. And that should be your people too.
Shame on you.
So.. We spend millions of dollars so we can help the poor - in Denmark we have this show every year were the purpose is to raise a bunch of money - so we can help Africa and other poor countries; Give them water, clothes, wealth etc.
This year the program raised 87.018.013 danish kroner. (15.441.867,7243 USD) - That’s A LOT of money, right? But where the hell does all the money go? so about 15,5 million dollars plus all the millions from other organizations and rich people donating. My guess would be that every year we spend - not millions - but billions of dollars.
I just couldn’t help thinking that we should’ve seen some major changes by now.. I know that “Rome wasn’t build in one day” - or however that phrase goes - but we’ve been doing this for decades now. Helping the poor.
Personally, I love that we want to help the less fortunate people, and that it’s always a success to raise the money - but who is in charge of the money? Who goes to Africa for example - and change their ways?
I know that they always show these footages from their trips to Africa, where a bunch of happy african kids are holding their first school-book or drinking some clean water.
But there’s a reason why Africa isn’t as ‘developed’ and modern as America and Europe - We can’t afford it.
If we didn’t have poor people, who would make our Iphones, computers, TVs, clothes, jewelry, shoes etc?
I KNOW that that’s not really in Africa, but in China and the rest of Asia - But the Africa thing was more just an example of us spending a lot of money that isn’t being well spend.
Why are there still soooo many poor people in Asia? They’re mad clever but they don’t have the resources and we’re to selfish and greedy to give it to them. Because we NEED our electronics and branded clothes.
Africa has so many natural resources, but they just don’t know how to take advantage of it, instead they allow the
white man to steal it.
But who the F*** am I to think I’m different from all the other material people in Europe? I should probably be more ashamed, since I read a lot about all this, and still writing this blog on my 1.774 dollar MAC BOOK PRO, while my 709 dollar HTC smartphone is on my big double bed even though I just need a single bed, and while my TV is showing some ridiculous show about God knows what. But I’m not even watching it - It’s on mute - and I’m not turning it off, because I don’t have apathy. I don’t care about the damn electric bill.
Because I’m a weird, torn middle eastern girl living in Europe - and since I worked hard for my MAC and HTC and so on - I think that it’s OK that I have it. Even though people probably have been dying of hunger while making my phone and clothes.
Thanks for reading
It’s funny how I - with Middle Eastern roots - can feel out of place here in Europe even though I was born and raised here.
It’s funny how I - with Middle Eastern roots - have to be torn between two cultures. How Middle Eastern people don’t get the “white” things I do, and how Europeans don’t get the middle eastern things I do.
It’s funny how I - with a Middle Eastern upbringing - don’t get how one thing can be seen so different depending on where you live. Belly Dancers in the Middle East equals being a Whore. Belly dancers to Europeans equals beautiful women embracing their body, and it’s oh so exotic.
fuccin funny, how white people always question my “middle eastern” ways of dealing with some things, despite the fact that I was born and raised in Europe - with a mother who always tried to integrate herself and us into understanding and accepting the way things were done in our new homeland.
From the day she come to this country she started mixing our middle eastern culture and understanding with the european one. She never wanted us to forget where we came from. I admire that and I hope I can do the same with my children.
But what amazes me is actually not so much the ignorance from europeans. I kinda expect their ignorance - I don’t know why, and I shouldn’t be ‘cool’ with it - but I guess I’ve just been surrounded by ignorant, naive europeans all my life so it’s just normal to me now.
The beautiful thing about middle eastern people is the way we’ve been brought up; honor, respect, love, humility and family values. So It breaks my heart when they come to another country and piss on the new countries values, culture and people. How they can trash everything they stand for. (Obviously I don’t mean them all - but those few ones that do so, ruins it for us all!) Why don’t you even try to make an effort?
I Promise you, you won’t be so miserable and you’ll start to love the life you live and the people who you are surrounded by.
If we just started to listen to each other, respect each other it would probably help people (such as myself), to feel home. Because I know many of us feel that we are in the center of a cultural mess, and I know that even people living in their “real” country feel misplaced.